Michael-Branch.com

A Day in the Life of the Internet

Wow….just to think that earlier in my lifetime there was really no such thing.

The internet has permeated nearly every aspect of our lives from social interactions to personal banking and education. Heck, when the internet goes out at work for the most part the day comes to a stand still.

Two questions for you? What is your personal most valued aspect of the internet? In other words, what do you love most about it.

Second, how often do you “unplug” and drop all use of your gadgets for an hour, a day?

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”

- Anonymous

This quote comes by way of my buddy Dave Woodland. It struck a cord with me and I wanted to share and discuss.

It can be sad and confusing as you grow older and apart from friends and acquaintances of old. Sometimes it’s like I try to cling on to the relationships, not necessarily because I feel that it’s a truly wonderful relationship to have, but because it feels like the right thing to do. Sometimes it feels like you’re “leaving them behind” or “not remembering who your real friends are”. But as I’ve grown older I’ve realized what is at the essence of this quote.

You can appreciate the relationship (for what it is now, or what it was then), and you can appreciate the memories, but that doesn’t mean it’s not time to move on. It’s not necessarily cutting that person(s) from your life completely (although, and indeed, this may be a fitting move), it’s more a factor of letting life take its course. People may come and go, like seasons, life will tell you how long that season lasts, and if it shall return one day, to find you once again in need of its offerings.

My point is simply this: don’t hold onto the past; cherish wonderful memories, learn from the not so wonderful ones, and move forward. There’s more in store.

Getting rid of the clutter

In the Making

I started to research (yeah, that’s me) the idea of minimalism a few years back. I started to feel like I had too much stuff. But that’s who I was. I bough clothes I never wore (literally, many of them with the tags still on them years later), purchased pantry items I never ate (had a garbage bag full of food to toss when I moved the last time), and collected trinkets I never even saw (boxed up or in a drawer somewhere), let alone appreciated.

*Note: Don’t get the wrong impression, I was never “messy”. My stuff was organized and clean, it was just ALOT of it. Storage bins, full closets, and closets full of garment bags of clothes at my moms house. But I digress…

My reasoning? What if I need them later? What if I wanted a new outfit to wear? What if I was hungry and had eaten every other thing in the fridge? What if I wanted to look back in nostalgia at that fraternity regional convention name placard someday? More often than not none of these what if’s ever came about.

I had more clothes and shoes than my girlfriend, yet consistently wore the same 8-9 items. It was time for a change. I began tossing items out of my closet into a keep, give-away, and toss piles. What did I find? Even though there was stuff I’d never worn, and knew in my heart I never would, it was exceedingly difficult to not put them in the “keep” pile. What if…? At a certain point in time I’d fallen prey to a condition I had seen in others. Instead of me owning things, my things were owning me. To have such a sense of attachment to manufactured textiles and nostalgic knick-knacks meant being a slave to my purchases and collections.

No More

It started slowly. Over the past two years I’ve been steady cutting the fat. The biggest cut came when I moved a little over a year ago. Literally a room full of stuff tossed or given away. Platos Closet was the first stop to try and make a few quick bucks. If not than Goodwill would get the remainder, or one of those roadside bins where you donate clothes and shoes.

Over time it’s become a habit and somewhat of a lifestyle. I regularly go through my closets and drawers about once a quarter, looking for stuff I can get rid of.

Technology has been a serious aid in my slow transformation. Now every book I buy I try and get the Kindle version. Instead of keeping Holiday cards, I’ll snap a picture of them, store them in Evernote and toss em. With digital storage its a lot easier to organize, store, and recall things when you need them. Actual CD’s have fallen out of favor (although admittedly, that was the case with my generation in general) and now I either download the mp3 versions, or stream it on Spotify or Pandora. I’m enjoying moving increasingly into “the cloud” with services like Google Drive and Dropbox.

My closet has slimmed down, not quite to where I want it, but its a process. A quite liberating one.

You don’t need it

This is closely tied with just one of the many sad ironic things in life. We often go to work so that we can afford to buy clothes for work, and to impress others, most of whom we don’t like in the first place.

All those knick knacks you haven’t looked at in two years? Guess what, if the memory was that important to you you would have went back to look at them.

The truth is we don’t need 50 pairs of jeans, 30 pairs of shoes, 15 suits, etc. Unless you’re a fashion model (in which case your clothes are often provided for you anyhow), nobody cares! You might get a “nice outfit”, but than the fleeting complement is over and at the end of the day you could have spent your time (shopping and thinking about outfits), money, and mental capital elsewhere. Let’s not even get started with the guys who purchase all the new pairs of Jordans but live with their parents, or the ladies that shop so often they’re in enough debt to have paid for a semester of tuition.

And if you want to store memories, there’s a more efficient way (photos anyone).

New Rules

If you care to try my new found approach to minimalism, here are a few rules that I think help.

Don’t worry about fashion trends. They’re called trends for a reason. Just get timeless, quality pieces that you can always wear. What are you going to do with those bedazzled jeans or those purple loafers?
Regular “spring cleaning”. Regularly go through your closets, drawers, file cabinets, and the like for things you haven’t used or don’t need. Tip: If you haven’t looked at it in a year, there’s a good chance you don’t need it.
Utilize technology. Don’t keep those knick knacks, birthday cards, school notes from years ago, etc. And if you must, keep them in digital format. Use tools like Evernote (for the cloud) or external harddrives to save your files. Snap a picture and toss the tangible stuff away.

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What do you think about these 7 virtues?

The Branch 2 line breakdown of each:

1) Wealth without work means you’ll never appreciate $ or what others go through to get it.

2) Pleasure without conscience means you’ll put your own enjoyment above the rights of others and even your own morality.

3) Knowledge without character means you’ll have all the “book” smarts, but none of the compassion to share it correctly.

4) Business without ethics means you’ll put profit at the expense of the right thing.

5) Science without humanity means you’ll narrow the wonders of the universe into formulas and theories without truly appreciating them or the effect on others.

6) Religion without sacrifice means you’ll be a follower in name only, judging others without walking in their shoes.

7) Politics without principle means you’ll be playing the game instead of representing the people.

View Separately

I don’t imagine I’ll find myself doing this (re-blogging) to often. But this was so on point I had to. Listen to the man.

andyswan:

“You’re born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one.” — Don Draper

You’re not gonna starve.

You’re not gonna to sleep in the rain.

What is it you’re scared of? A mortgage? A non-existant scoreboard that shows you losing to non-existant competitors your age? You already lost.

401k, IRA, credit score, retirement, mortgage, lexus, granite countertops.

Amateur-hour, dude.

You keep thinking you’ve moved up. You’ve got more. You’re almost “there”.

The reality is, if you’re “moving up” just to move up, you’re doing very little other than ratcheting up obligations. Trapping yourself into a situation where you feel like you don’t control what you do.

The good news… it all goes away the minute you decide it does. You’ve got the keys.

DO.

win!

Attribution: ”A Whiskey Girl” by daveydeathwish

“Just Trying to Stay Busy”

We’ve all heard it.

Person 1: “What’s up man?”

Person 2: “Nothing much, just trying to stay busy.”

Being busy, it seems, is to many the mark of a drive for success. People are CONSTANTLY talking about how busy they are, all the things they’ve got to do, and all the things they’ve been doing. But here’s the kicker, they often talk about it like its a badge of honor. On the one hand they seem exasperated when naming all the things they do and the things they’d like to get done but “just don’t have the time for”. On the other, they continue this path of turning their wheels. Call it the rat race. But as they say, the worst part about the rat race is even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Side Effects

There are a number of side effects to this notion of “staying busy”. The most obvious and destructive is stress. We all know that stress is bad, but how bad?

Well for one, stress is known to be the basic cause for the majority of human sickness and illness. It is the number one indirect killer on the planet, with links to cancer, heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, depression, and more. You see stress, even in its simple emotional/mental form (as opposed to physical stressors like intense exercise), manifests itself physically. Our body is very much formed and affected by our emotions. Think back to that scene in Titanic when Jack died…you cried (hey, it was sad damn it). Tears welled up, your body got tight; these are emotions manifesting themselves physically. Well think about all the things that cause us stress, and what kind of toll they’re taking on your physical as well as mental well being. “Staying busy” often times means staying stressed. Unlike Titanic, it’s a movie that doesn’t end.

Another, more subjective, side effect is the hesitation to “stop and smell the roses”. Although we should all strive to reach our goals, we should also remember that the journey is as important as the destination. After all, what since does it make to be at the top of Mt. Everest if you can’t remember the beauty of climbing the mountainside; the sun on the horizon, the snow falling, the view…The notion that we must “stay busy” means that we often forget to take the time to appreciate the things we enjoy the most.

Hamster Wheel

I think this idea of staying busy has a lot to do with our need to keep up with the Jones’. We hear about all the things that everyone else says they’re doing, and we feel that we too should be in a constant state of “busy”. But this is cultural. I had a coworker tell me that when he worked in Germany, they thought that the people that stayed late at their jobs were no better than those that left on time. In fact, that they must have been incompetent because they couldn’t finish their work in the normal time frame. Other cultures share similar views. The French are well known for taking the time to enjoy life.

Staying busy is NOT the same thing as being productive. Just ask the hamster on his wheel. Running nowhere fast! Constantly going is a surefire way to lower productivity, reduce creativity, and induce burnout. Success in nearly any venture means working for it. But the idea should be to work smarter, not harder. Find a way to increase your efficiency while still being effective; learn to say no when you’re over loaded and make your goals and time frame realistic.

John Henry beat the machine, but he also keeled over and died afterwards. They taught us to appreciate and value John Henry’s work ethic. It’s an amazing story sure. But they should have taught us to also value the ingenuity of the men that built the machine, as they were still alive, well, and had enough time on their hands to stop and smell the roses.

We ALL need time to wind down. Don’t put so much on your plate that you can never finish it. Spend time with your friends, enjoy the company of your spouse, appreciate your hobbies without constantly looking at the clock. You’ll be a better person for it. And when it’s time to get back at it, you’ll be refreshed and ready to go.

“Documentia” and the Rise of Social Media

Docu what?

Documentia…the tendency to stop what you’re doing to document it. More on this later, but for the purposes of this post I’ll be speaking to documentia as it relates to social media.

Let’s lay out the scenes of such incidents.

You’re about to eat an delicious looking meal, you pull out your phone and upload a pic to Instagram.
You’re pulling up to the grocery. As you walk in your Check-in on FourSquare.
You’re stuck in traffic, so you update your followers on Twitter about your dismay.
You’re walking into the locker room at the gym so you record your workout on Fitocracy.
You just got a promotion, you update your Linkedin.
You see a street fight about to happen, so you pull out your phone and post it to YouTube.
You do anything…you tell your friends on Facebook.

I’ve understood the concept of documentia for some time now, but it was only yesterday that I heard it used. It’s a made up word that was featured on NPR in a piece discussing the relative merit of ignoring the dictionary and letting usage and need determine what is and isn’t a word, thus allowing anyone to create their own words. A great piece but I digress.

The rise of smart phones like Apples iPhone have really accelerated such phenomenon and made it easy to engage in. Documentia isn’t inherently bad, but like many things it has its place and the cases where individuals take it to far are etched in many of our minds, especially those of us who remember when the hottest thing out was the Motorola Razr.

Documenting life can be extremely rewarding. It allows you the opportunity to, years down the road, remember that excellent meal you shared with friends or some of the places you went when you traveled. At it’s best it can be a split second distraction that allows you to weave a digital scrapbook of your life. One day you’ll sit back and be able to recall more things than your grandparents can ever hope to….simply because you took the time to document them.

It can also have profound social effects. Think about the effects Twitter and YouTube documentia had on the Arab Spring movement, or how platforms like Fitocracy can assist in reaching ones fitness goals. Facebook documentia is almost single handily connecting the world. And who knows how many crimes have been recorded and prosecuted thanks to the documentia of YouTube users.

But certainly can be a source of dismay.

We all have those friends that are soo busy taking pictures for Facebook and Instagram at an event that they forget to actually enjoy it. Or those that have documented some not too flattering instances of themselves only for it to cause them trouble at work or to get turned down for a job offer.

Shit, I’ve seen YouTube videos where a guy is getting beat up and it’s his “friend” thats recording. Talk about the WRONG time to document something.

Related

I closely relate documentia with what I’ll called sociality (my new made up word, a combination of social reality). Sociality is the tendency to pull up social media while in a situation in which the real world (i.e. reality) around you should warrant your engagement. Examples:

Driving
Having dinner with friends/family
At a party
Quality time with your significant other

So if documentia is the supplier, sociality is the demand side of the equation and in many ways can be more disheartening.

In either situation, the individual is removing themselves from what’s going on in their immediate surroundings in the “real world” to engage in their curated digital world. I think that many of us can see a sad reality to this situation. It’s kind of like the Suburu commercial where the girl thinks her parents are lame because they don’t have any Facebook friends, while in reality they’re out enjoying the world around them.

Experiment

In the span of three months I’ve gone from having just two social media accounts (Facebook, Linkedin) to nine. It was a sort of real world experiment to gauge my following, engagement, and any real/perceived benefits. Suffice to say just one day before I heard the discussion about documentia on NPR I decided to reverse the course of my experiment. Though I’ve found some real uses of some platforms (Twitter is king for real time news, Quora is awesome all around, and Tumblr allows me to engage in both sharing and finding interesting experiences, thoughts, opinions, and the like), others are just less engaging for me personally. Who knows, innovative and useful social communities and platforms are becoming more frequent so I can’t rule any out.

Final thoughts

Engaging in social media can be a wonderful experience that actually deepens the bonds you have with people. It can keep you engaged and connected to those you might not otherwise have a chance to engage with due to time or geographic constraints. But there’s a place for it all. Sitting at a red light for 30 seconds is not sooo boring that you have to pull out your phone and check your Instagram feed. Our attention spans aren’t naturally that short, we’ve made them that way.

As they say, stop and smell the roses.

CrossFit what?

*There have been several articles detailing CrossFit, this is meant as a shorter primer for those uninitiated in fitness.

What in the hell is CrossFit all about?

So this weeks marks the start of the 2013 CrossFit Games; what many CrossFitters deem as THE competition that crowns the fittest person(s) on earth (in so much as all of those qualified in fact compete). Now you might be saying, “whoa, that’s a pretty tall order to claim”, and you’d be right but certainly one I feel that’s well deserved. Many athletes and non athletes look to events like Ironman, The Olympics (specifically the Decathlon), triathlons, and other popular sports for this champion of fitness. But they’d very likely be wrong. And it all hinges on the definition of fitness. It’s hard to describe someone as “fit” if we don’t first define it. CrossFit has done an excellent job of doing just that in this article. The gist of the article: fitness is defined across various aspects and modalities. Those that have the most work capacity across various (the term various here is important, because it means that someone that’s only good at a certain thing, running per say, is lacking in various other areas of fitness) movements are the most fit. More work (reps, weight, distance, etc.) in less time = more fit. Enter CrossFit.

Photo: In less than 24 hours, you'll know this year's first Open workout! Don't forget to watch LIVE on http://games.crossfit.com/ at 5pm PT (8pm ET).

Now, we can get to the topic of this post, what is CrossFit? You’ve undoubtedly seen commercials, heard people talking about it, or maybe even seen some coverage on ESPN. It inspires fierce loyalty in many of its adherents and has more than its fair share of naysayers.

CrossFit, at its core, is a program/philosophy/methodology that seeks to provide its participants with generalized fitness. CrossFit is a program best described by “jack of all trades, master of none”. The principle goal is to provide a level of fitness training (as defined in the previously mentioned article) so that athletes (CrossFitters see themselves as athletes, and CrossFit as the “sport of fitness”) can express their fitness in any way they so choose (be it climbing a mountain, engaging in a team sport, running for the bus, or picking your grandson up off the ground). It is NOT better than other programs or methods of training (such as bodybuilding or sport specific training), rather it’s an alternative that depends heavily on your fitness goals. If you seek to be an elite level strongman than doing a lot of endurance work won’t help much towards your goals. If you’re looking to be an ultra distance runner than mastering muscle-ups will mean little for your performance. That’s not to say CrossFit couldn’t provide these athletes with a broader level of fitness, but it won’t be effective as taking them towards their goal as specific training.

So we’ve been speaking in pretty broad generalizations, but by giving you the core definition of the CrossFit program we can speak EXACTLY to what CrossFit is, and the type of training CrossFitters do.

CrossFit is “constantly varied functional movements, executed at high intensity across broad modal and time domains.” WHAT?

Constantly Varied

Many athletes will understand the principle of adaptation. Our bodies naturally seek to adapt to whatever stress loads we’re giving them. When it adapts that means the functional gains (be it muscle growth, strength, speed) decrease over time with the same programming. It’s why many trainers alter their workouts every couple of months. CrossFit takes this idea a step further and varies its workouts DAILY. It may be weeks, months, or you may literally never do the exact same workout (specifically WOD or, Workout of the Day. More on that to come). This means your body never has the chance to adapt. More practically though it also means that you’ll never get bored with your routines because you’ll always be doing something different. And variety is what keeps a lot of people interested in fitness.

Functional Movements

$Photo: After a motorcycle accident involving another motorcycle, Jennifer Lazo was left with a compound fracture of her tibia, which was missing two inches, and a fibula that was cracked in half. After the initial surgery from the trauma team & the initial prognosis was one of two options, recounts her husband, Vidal. The couple owns CrossFit Kingdom in Miami. The first option was simply that Jennifers left leg would be two inches shorter than her rightforever. The second option was more severe: amputation. Vidal wasnt willing to accept either, so he met with a University of Miami doctor and explained to him that his wifes passion is CrossFit. The doctor looked at Jennifers X-rays and CT scans, Vidal says, and made a promise: I can make her run again. Today Jennifer is rowing, power cleaning and doing handstand push-ups, among other movements. CrossFit has helped my healing process in so many ways, she says. I remember every time the physical therapist would come to see me, she would be like, Youre really strong. Watch "CrossFit Has Helped My Healing Process": Journal: http://journal.crossfit.com/2013/02/jenniferlazo-motoaccident.tpl YT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX4duwye5Wg$

When was the last time you sat in a chair while curling a heavy object (a la seated biceps curls) upwards in real life? That’s what I thought. Never. Functional movements basically mean movements (exercises) that provide a functional benefit in real life activities. Whether it be the movement itself (sprinting = running for the bus) or the fitness benefit it’s meant to enable (Olympic lifting = power generation, strength, coordination, etc.). In essence these are compound (movements working more than a single muscle group) movements that are meant to work the body as an entire unit in coordination as nature intended. Again, that’s no to say there is no place for seated leg curls, but when you’re looking to be fit overall you’re aiming to get the most bang for your sweat expenditure buck.

Examples of movements you’re likely to see in a CrossFit box (box = gym in CrossFit lingo) include: burpees, box jumps, squats, deadlifts, snatches, cleans, kettlebell swings, situps, and pullups.

Executed at High Intensity

CrossFit’s gonna make you sweat. Intensity is simply a measure of how much energy (it can be difficult to measure actually energy expenditure, but you can go by “perceived energy expenditure”—how hard it feels) is expended. So if you’re in the gym going through the motions and you’re not doing anything “hard”, than you’re not being intense. It is generally accepted that exercise at moderate to vigorous levels is most conducive to reaping the most benefits from your exercise…thus CrossFit is all about high intensity. Going as hard (or nearly as hard) as you can.

Across Broad Modal and Time Domains

Photo: On February 16th, CrossFitters around the world will be competing in a 12-minute WOD that will help build schools and provide clean water for the people in Dzendereni, Kenya. Sign up here: http://kenya.crossfit.com/

This sort of goes with the “constantly varied” piece. Modal being differences in load (weight), repetitions, objects used (ex. fat bar vs. regular barbell), and the like. Time being, well, time duh! A CrossFit WOD may last 5 minutes, or 45 minutes just like various real world activities. Remember the point of CrossFit is for practitioners to be ready for anything, be it heavy lifting or a 5k. Again besides the functional benefits from a practical level this staves off boredom from workouts. Many WODs string together movements in rounds (exercise set followed immediately by exercise set, like in a circuit workout) for time (as many rounds or reps in a specific time as possible).

*Note: Because intensity, with good movement form, can not be sustained for very long periods of time (1hr+) very few CrossFit WOD’s pass this threshold, the perceived value in fitness diminishes after such time.

And More

CrossFit is by no means limited to “WODS”, which are often considered conditioning workouts. While there are some things you should NEVER see at a CrossFit gym (isolation exercises not meant for physical therapy purposes such as biceps curls, triceps extensions, cable crossovers, and many other such bodybuilding staples), many are perfectly within the purview of the methodology.

For example many CrossFit boxes now incorporate a “strength” training regimen before their WODs. This may call for heavy squats, bench presses, and the like on certain days of the week preceding WODs. Often times the strength portion of the workouts stay static across a number of weeks/months while the WODs change. Without getting to deep into training methodology this type of workout is proven to improve strength which is absolutely essential to most fitness endeavors.

Variations

Many variations of CrossFit have sprung up over a relatively short period of time. All meant to address either a specific sport (like crossfit football), perceived weakness of the system (strength development for example), or specialty for those that enjoy CrossFit but want to focus on more specific endeavors (such as endurance for runners).

Community

So a HUGE topic not previously discussed is the community aspect of CrossFit, arguably one of the most important for many. CrossFits community is like none other (well, let’s say their in-person community in boxes/gyms, sometimes the internet community can get a little snobby, narrow minded, and irrational; but I guess that’s the nature of the internet). Members, as they are not competing against one another but only against the clock and themselves, often cheer on each other during and after workouts. Success isn’t until the last person has finished their WOD. The community is one of friendship, fitness, and accountability.

Unfortunately, I have had little opportunity to experience this for myself. I’ve mostly been CrossFitting in a globo gym but it looks like I’ll be getting a box membership next month to CrossFit Louisville East; and I’ll be taking Jackey with me :)

In addition to encouraging each other, CrossFitters and boxes around the country and world are known for routinely doing positive things in their communities. Headquarters is even spearing a project in Kenya. Doing stuff for others is always awesome.

Photo: Rest Day Photo: Mnyenzeni, Kenya. http://kenya.crossfit.com/ http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/008744.html

Is it for you

By now you should likely have some sense whether or not CrossFit sounds like something you’d be interested in. Here are some guidelines to help decide if CrossFit is for you. You might want to check out CrossFit if:

You’re interested in being generally physically fit
You grow bored of workout routines quickly
You enjoy the camaraderie and motivation that comes with working out with others
You like intense exercise
You are limited on workout time
You’re tired of “traditional” workouts

Hope this gave you a good overview of CrossFit. I’ll end with this picture of a cute dog and a barbell…because it’s a cute dog and a barbell.

Photo: "The deadlift is unrivaled in its simplicity and impact while unique in its capacity for increasing head to toe strength." -Level 1 CrossFit Training Guide

Atop the Eiffel Tower

*This post has been adapted from “Our Story” at www.michaelandjackey.com.*

Our Story

So in just about four months Jackey, my fiancé, and I will be getting married. It’s been a great ride. We’ve been together now for 3 and a half years. I feel lucky to have found someone that makes me laugh, can never stay mad at me (neither can I at her), and is beautiful and sweet.

Prologue

I met Jackey initially at one of the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life events. She was there for Alpha Kappa Alpha, and I for Alpha Phi Alpha (pre becoming a member), as our separate organizations were supporting the event. We walked and talked for sometime and then went our separate ways….

We saw one another a few times over the coming weeks at various social functions (our circles crossed). Finally, one day while at the gym on UofL’s campus I ran into her as I was leaving and she was working out. If you know me than you know this caught my eye. There are few things more attractive than a girl into fitness (to be sure, I later found out that this wasn’t a consistent activity, there goes to show you sometimes assumptions can be wrong but still work out for the better. Either way, she is now in the gym with me on the regular :) ). So, I asked for her number and away I went. I texted back and forth with her a few times, we stayed on the surface for the most part.

Finally, one night we attended the same house party and our relationship took it’s first step towards actualizing. We talked and got cozy and as the night drew to a close and she got in her friends car I heard my name. “Michael, she’s calling for you”, said one of her friends. I walked towards the car and to my surprise I walked right into a kiss on the cheek. No more guessing on my part how she felt.

A good first few chapters

We began to date and fell rather quickly into a pattern of frequently seeing each other. It wouldn’t be uncommon to see her 3-4 days out of the week. And soon enough we had fallen in Love. I thought about her all the time. Who wouldn’t?

I thought it was finally time to move to the next phase in our relationship.

*Note: I like to plan in advance. I had already written exactly what I was going to say to her, planned out where, and even the timing. I selected the “Eiffel Tower” at Kings Island because A) I liked the vantage point it gave us—-so high in the air, and B) I had already planned that if I were to propose to this girl I wanted to do it on the real Eiffel Tower, thus creating a funny story/connection between the two (I don’t even think Jackey knows this). Alas, I thought of another creative way to propose and chose that route instead. Read on to see how.

A group of friends decided to go to Kings Island together, it was July 3, 2009. It was great fun. Having told one of my good friends Clyde my plans we split with the group leaving myself and Jackey conveniently alone to check out the vantage point from the “Eiffel Tower”. As we got to the top and she starred out over the park I looked at her and thought how beautiful she was. And then I begin to speak, words planned for over a month. By the time we came down we were officially “exclusive” (it’s very odd and funny how once you’re engaged/married becoming exclusive with someone at the dating stage seems so funny, trivial, and small…but it was big for us lol).

Text would just draw out the time so I’d rather use pictures to show our moments. The next few years we grew closer, into best friends. There were ups and downs of course, but we worked through them.

The talk and expectations of engagement from Jackey were ANYTHING other than subtle. She even went so far as to post the picture of the engagement ring she wanted on our fridge (and circled it). Needless to say she was ready and antsy. I was in no huge rush so I had pushed the conversation off for a while (plus remember I like to plan, I already knew my proposal date well in advance).

Finally on July 3, 2012:

We went downtown to Waterfront Park. It was our anniversary day but we had already settled that we’d wait until the weekend to celebrate. As we were walking I had to slow her down, my timing needed to be perfect. “Why are you walking so fast, we’re not trying to exercise lol” I commented. She then receives a strange text, and then two, with similar messages from her friends. “Is that you in the newest issue of What’s Happening in Greater Louisville?” What were they talking about she said. I don’t know I said, I have a copy in my pocket (although this was certainly odd, keep in mind at the time I was in publishing and I published this particular periodical). She started flipping through the pages and I inched slowly behind her, pulling the ring out that was in my pocket. Suddenly she found the inside back cover. I could tell she was reading and processing and then she turned around to me, bending down on one knee with the ring (yes, the one that she posted on the fridge) opened to face her. Tears of joy (while I patted myself on the back for being awesome) streamed down her face. She said yes (of course). Here’s the ad:

Jackeys proposal Ad in the July issue of What's Happening in
Greater Louisville

Fast forward and we are now solidly engaged. After taking a vacation in Cancun we decided we wanted to get married there. It was beautiful, the hotel was great, and we figured everyone could make a vacation out of it and really have a good time.

We had originally scheduled the wedding for 2014, but after a few months of thought we decided that we wanted to really make this day about us. So we decided to drop the reception and planning for guests and have a ceremony for the two of us; call it elopement without the haste (although, friends and family are still welcome to enjoy the ceremony and the beach)! I used my legendary powers of persuasion to suggest July 3, 2013 as our wedding date (you notice the theme here :).

If you were able to make our engagement dinner, thank you! It was a wonderful event that everyone seemed to really enjoy. Next stop, the big day.

Stay tuned, as we plan on running the long haul ;-)

Was up wit dis youth? Poor grammar & the power of social media

Come on, really?

Chances are you’ve seen something like this in your newsfeed recently (if you haven’t I applaud you on your choice of friends/followers). It’s at first a source of mockery (admit it), and then it makes you upset, and finally you’re just plain sad. Upset that real people, people that you (presumably) know, have gone through our education system and this is the outcome.

I can’t say it’s all youth, that would be incorrect. But they do seem to be the leaders in making social media a place of poor grammar, bad spelling, and general annoyance at lack of grasp on elementary English.

I also can’t say it’s just English. Have you ever happened to be getting change at a store/fast food restaurant and the total was $2.70, you give them $3 and they need to look at the register to determine your change? You get the point.

Maybe it’s just me? I doubt it though, it’s clear that the American education system is falling in the ranks, and has been for some time. This article offers a succinct take on that. To sum it up: we emphasize being social, we’re narrowly focused on the idea of what education means, and we’ve lost our zeal when professing that education is the path to advancement. Further, we have yet to really tackle inequality in education, which inevitably leads us to social and economic inequality.

Ain’t nobody got no time fo dat!

So why? Why do we see the same people mangling their posts or saying something so silly you want to slap them:

Has no one called them on this? Here’s my take:

They’ve taken SMS shorthand and turned it into something worse. Essentially I’m saying LOL, SMH, and BRB was a precursor to cum (come), fo (for), dat (that), and the like. While SMS shorthand was meant to save time most of these recent developments do no such thing (typing two less letters is surely no time saver).

Ebonics/slang has mixed with the aforementioned SMS shorthand 2.0 for a mess of a sentence. What do you get when you mix slang (defined lightly as top level cultural takes on words and phrases mixed with geographic accents and culture) with SMS 2.0? Something like this:

Fittin to go to da sto. hungry fo real mama aint cook yet. bouta get dis burga i gues.

Translation: About to go to the store. I’m hungry because my mother didn’t cook. I guess I’ll get a burger.

Add to this the “right now” and informal attitude to social media. We have something to say and we want to share it right now, fast. No spell checking (as we presume we don’t have to since the forum is so informal) and no worries about permanency because the next time we have something to say we’ll share that just as fast, pushing our last status update or tweet down the feed. Because we believe it’s informal we aren’t particularly concerned with spelling, correct sentence structure, and the like. Just sharing our thought for that moment.

So you see when you take into account that alot of people speak this way, they are using a (poor) system of SMS 2.0, they want instant gratification (via feedback in the forms of likes, comments, or retweets), and they believe the medium is informal it starts to become clear. People are simply writing, rather informally, as they would speak utilizing shorthand. No harm no foul right? BUT the problem with this assumption is that if you look across a broad range of such posts you realize that the shorthand isn’t standardized (i.e. we all know that LOL = laugh out loud) and their poor sentence structure actually makes it MORE difficult to ascertain what they’re trying to say which means…yes, it is not on purpose (sigh) as many would have you believe if you speak to them.

They really don’t have a grasp of basic English. “You’re” inevitably ends up as “your”, and “they’re” is mistaken for “there” or “their”. Consider the fact that we often associate with those that are similar to us then we see that the cycle is likely to not break based on social interactions alone (in other words, the very people that might otherwise bring it to their attention—directly or indirectly— that they’re using the wrong word, etc. are also very likely to be making the same mistakes).

Alas, educators have got an uphill battle. Students are constantly immersed in social media, text messages, and the like on a daily basis while the English teacher only gets an hour of their time a few days a week.

I won’t pretend to have an answer

I’ll just sigh, SMH, and say:

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